Nushuz (marital disobedience)

The wife's nushuz and its stages

Nushuz designates the wife leaving the obedience due to her husband. The jurists agree on the Quranic path, in order: "Admonish those from whom you fear disobedience, leave them alone in the beds, and strike them" (an-Nisa 34). The majority (Hanafis, Malikis, Shafi'is with nuances, Hanbalis) requires following this order: begin with kind exhortation, then separation within the conjugal bed, and only then a non-harmful correction, if it helps.

The disciplinary correction stays framed: "correct them with a correction that is not harsh" (Muslim 1218); not striking the face nor degrading her: "Do not strike the face, do not disfigure, and do not stay away except within the house" (Abu Dawud 2142 ; Ibn Majah 1850); the Hanbalis cap it at ten light strokes based on the hadith: "None of you should exceed ten strokes" (al-Bukhari 6850 ; Muslim 1708). If the husband knows it serves no purpose, it becomes forbidden: the Malikis rule that a measure without its intended effect is not legislated, and the Shafi'is see it as a useless punishment. Shafi'is and Hanbalis add that refraining is the best choice to preserve affection. If he goes beyond, he answers for it: Hanafis, Malikis and Shafi'is make him liable for any damage caused.

The husband's nushuz

Disobedience may also come from the husband: "If a woman fears from her husband disdain or avoidance, no blame on both of them for a settlement between them: settlement is best" (an-Nisa 128). Aisha explains it: a wife who fears divorce may give up her turn or her maintenance to keep her home, as Sawda did with the Prophet (al-Bukhari ; Muslim). Striking his wife or harming her without right is forbidden by the jurists' agreement; she may bring her case to the authority, which punishes him if he does not stop.

When conflict settles in: the two arbiters

If defiance and discord come from both sides, the matter goes to the authority: "Appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from hers: if they desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them" (an-Nisa 35). The two arbiters must come from the two families, by consensus: they know the home's inner reality. The majority of schools (Hanafis, Shafi'is in the apparent view, Hanbalis) describe them as the spouses' agents: they can neither reunite nor separate them without both spouses' consent.

Practical note

These rules set a graduated ladder: talk, brief distance, then arbitration; never violence or humiliation. In a lasting marital crisis, turn to wise people, then to a scholar or a judge.