Ila (the abstinence oath)

An oath of abstinence

The ila is the oath by which a husband commits to not approaching his wife for four months or more. The Quran sets its frame: "Those who vow to abstain from their wives have a waiting of four months; if they return, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful; if they resolve on divorce, Allah hears and knows" (al-Baqara 226-227). The Hanafis define it as the oath to abandon relations for a fixed duration; the Malikis, as the vow of the accountable husband against everything expressing refusal of relations, explicitly or through a burdensome condition, beyond four months.

A blameworthy oath

Shafi'is and Hanbalis brand the ila forbidden: it harms the wife and bears on abandoning a conjugal duty; the episode of the Prophet himself shows the return to right.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had abstained for a month from his wives and stayed in an upper room. Umar came: have you divorced your wives? He answered: no, but I abstained a month from them. He stayed twenty-nine nights, then came down and entered upon them. He was told: you had abstained a month? He said: the month is twenty-nine nights.al-Bukhari 4905, 4984, 6306

Its forms

The wording of the ila ranks like that of divorce: an explicit formula, "I will no longer approach you", "I will not share your bed", takes effect without intention; an allusive formula takes effect only with intention, by the scholars' agreement. The vow counts by Allah or one of His qualities, and the Malikis extend it to oaths by divorce, emancipation or a heavy commitment. The ambiguous formula, "no relation but a bad relation", calls for its explanation: according to his answer, he becomes mu'li or not, for the Hanafis.

The term and the outcome

• less than four months: he is not mu'li, it is a mere oath; if he has relations during the term, he pays the oath's expiation;
• four months or more, or without a term, or "never": he is mu'li, by agreement of the four schools;
• at the end of the four months without return: the Quran opens two outcomes, returning to her or divorcing her; Hanafis and some Malikis see the final separation fall by itself once the term has lapsed, reporting the word of Ibn Mas'ud and Zayd ibn Thabit; the other schools detail the judge's intervention to compel return or divorce.

Practical note

The ila is not silent punishment: it has a term, an outcome and rights for the wife. The angry husband must speak, seek counsel, or divorce properly; armed silence is no solution.