Couple life in the Sunna: daily benevolence

Mutual kindness, the household's foundation

The majority of scholars impose on each spouse good companionship, the end of harm, settling rights without delay, a generous face: "Live with them in kindness" (an-Nisa 19), "They have rights similar to their duties, in kindness" (al-Baqara 228). Ibn Abbas embodied it: "I love to adorn myself for my wife as I love her to adorn herself for me".

Daily choices framed

• voluntary fasting: the wife does not fast supererogatory days while her husband is present without his permission, by the scholars' agreement, since her fasting withholds part of his right; Muslim reports: "A woman does not fast while her husband is present without his permission, and admits no one to his house without his permission"; if he is traveling, she fasts with no dispute; some scholars read it as a strong recommendation rather than a binding rule;
• the privacy of the home: no one enters without permission;
• selling one's conjugal turn for money: forbidden by Hanafis, Shafi'is and Hanbalis, who deem it unlawful gain; the right to rotation is not for sale;
• adornment and attention: each cares for the other; the wife who beautifies married life earns Allah's pleasure without equaling the deeds reserved for men on campaign, as the Prophet told the women: "The fine conduct of one of you equals that".

The husband and daily life

Staying the night with his wife is not an obligation for the majority (Hanafis in the sound view, Malikis, Shafi'is, Ahmad in one narration), but a recommendation: it is kind companionship that protects her; it is best not to leave her more than four nights without one, on the model of the rotation among four wives. As for intimacy, it belongs to each one's rights, within the known impediments (menses, lochia, pilgrimage).

The order of rights

The husband's right comes after the right of Allah and His Messenger, yet weighs more than any other human right upon the wife: "If I were to order anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would order the woman to prostrate before her husband". The wife, for her part, holds maintenance, adornment and protection; each keeps his rank through kindness, not force.

Practical note

Marital Sunna lives in small gestures: asking permission, withholding no right, making oneself pleasant. These marks come from the manuals of the four schools; for a precise case, ask a scholar.