The walima (wedding feast)

An established sunna

All scholars agree: the wedding walima is legislated. The Prophet commanded it with modesty.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) noticed the trace of a yellow scent on Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf and asked: what is this? He replied: I have married a woman for the weight of a date stone. The Prophet said: may Allah bless you; hold a walima, even with a sheep.al-Bukhari 4860 ; Muslim 1427

Anas tells that the Prophet's most generous walima was Zaynab's: bread and meat until people left some (al-Bukhari 4873 ; Muslim 1428); and with Safiyya, a hays in a small vessel was enough (al-Bukhari 2120). The sheep is the ideal; a simpler spending remains valid, and the Prophet once held a walima with two mudds of barley.

Answering the invitation

If one of you is invited to a walima, let him respond to it.Muslim

For the majority of jurists (Hanafis, Malikis in the widespread view, Shafi'is, Hanbalis), whoever is invited to the wedding walima, with no unlawful entertainment, must answer, even while fasting, unless excused: abstaining without reason is sinful. The scholars cite the Prophet's words: "The worst food is the walima to which the rich are invited and the poor left out; and whoever does not answer the invitation disobeys Allah and His Messenger" (al-Bukhari ; Muslim). The obligation carries conditions: being named in the invitation, inviter and guest being Muslim, and the poor not being excluded.

The day of the walima

The jurists specify: the first day's walima is a right; the second day's is courtesy; on the third and beyond, answering becomes disliked, based on: "The walima on the first day is a right, the second courtesy, the third a rumor". If two invitations fall on the same day, one gives priority to whichever came first, otherwise to the nearer home; and the fasting person rises to answer if some good may come of it.

Table manners

• no waste, no display: scattering nuts and sugar for people to snatch is disliked by Malikis, Shafi'is and a Hanbali narration, for the Prophet forbade snatching (al-Bukhari 2342);
• honoring bread without turning it into a rite: kissing bread is an innovation held permissible by Hanafis and Shafi'is, not legislated by Malikis and Hanbalis, who recall the Prophet's regard for the smallest morsel;
• serving lawful food, without ostentatious spending or debt that crushes the household.

Practical note

The walima announces the marriage: public, hospitable, proportionate. Invite the poor, answer with a smile, avoid the excess: the schools' lesson in three lines.