Islamic Fiqh > Marriage and family > Nushuz (marital disobedience) > The ruling on the wife's nushuz toward her husband
Contents
Updated on 25 September 2026 at 3:23 PM
This part belongs to the full chapter: See all parts.
The thirteen sheets below are taken from the chapter on marital defiance (an-nushuz) in the Fiqh Encyclopedia. They cover the ruling on the wife's nushuz, the stages of her disciplinary correction (admonition, abandonment in bed, physical discipline), the husband's nushuz and its remedies, and then the recourse to the two arbiters (at-tahkim) in case of discord between the spouses. The positions of the Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i and Hanbali schools are cited with their classical references and the numbers of the hadith collections.
Al-Jamal says in his gloss: nushuz, in legal terms, is departing from obedience to the husband, or its opposite (Hashiyyat al-Jamal 'ala Sharh al-Manhaj, 4/280).
Ibn Muflih (may Allah have mercy on him) explains: nushuz is the aversion each of the two spouses feels toward his companion and the bad companionship with him. It is said: the woman has defied (nashazat) her husband, she is then nashiza and nashiz; and the husband has defied (nashaza) her when he is harsh toward her and harms her (al-Mubdi', 7/214; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/237).
On the ruling of this nushuz, the scholars do not disagree: it is forbidden for the wife to disobey her husband in any of his rights, and this constitutes nushuz toward him, which is forbidden. It is her duty to obey her husband in everything that involves no disobedience to Allah, not to leave his house without his permission, and to answer his call to the marital bed. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya says: the wife with her husband is like the slave and the captive; she has no right to leave his dwelling without his permission, whether her father, her mother, or others than her two parents order her to, by consensus of the imams. If the man wants to move to another place while fulfilling his obligations and preserving Allah's limits in her, and her parents forbid her obedience to him in that, she must obey her husband rather than her parents, for the parents are the wrongdoers here and have no right to prevent her from obeying such a husband (Majmu' al-Fatawa, 32/263).
Many hadiths of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) establish the wife's duty to obey her husband in all the affairs of life, so long as no disobedience to Allah is involved. Among them:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet said:
"If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would command the woman to prostrate to her husband."Authentic hadith, narrated by at-Tirmidhi (no. 1159)
Abdullah ibn Abi Awfa (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: when Mu'adh returned from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet, who said: "What is this, Mu'adh?" He replied: "I went to Syria and found them prostrating to their bishops and priests, and I wished that we would do that for you." The Messenger of Allah then said:
"Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would command the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, a woman does not fulfill the right of her Lord until she fulfills the right of her husband, and if he asked her for herself while she was on a saddle, she would not refuse him."Good authentic hadith, narrated by Ibn Majah (no. 1853), Ahmad (no. 19422), Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (no. 4171) and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (no. 7325)
Jabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Three people whose prayer Allah does not accept and whose good deeds are not raised to heaven: the runaway slave until he returns to his masters and places his hand in theirs, the woman whose husband is angry with her until he is pleased with her, and the drunkard until he sobers up."Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah in his Sahih (no. 940) and Ibn Hibban (no. 5355)
Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her enters Paradise."Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (no. 1161) and Ibn Majah (no. 1854)
Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah with his daughter and said: "O Messenger of Allah, this daughter of mine refuses to marry." The Prophet said to her: "Obey your father." She replied: "By Him who sent you with the truth, I will not marry until you tell me what right the husband has over his wife." The Prophet said:
"The right of the husband over his wife is that if she had a scabby wound, she would lick it and still not have fulfilled his right." She said: "By Him who sent you with the truth, I will never marry." The Prophet then said: "Do not marry them except with their consent."Narrated by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (no. 4164) and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (2/205)
Al-Husayn ibn Mihsan reported that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet for a need; having finished, he said to her:
"Are you married?" She said: "Yes." He asked: "How are you with him?" She said: "I do not neglect anything he asks of me, except what I am unable to do." He said: "Then see where you stand with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell."Good hadith, narrated by Malik in al-Muwatta (no. 950), Ahmad (no. 19025) and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (no. 2769)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported from the Prophet:
"When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and does not come, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning."Authentic hadith, narrated by Abu Dawud (no. 2141)
Taliq ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah said:
"When a man calls his wife for his need, let her come, even if she is at the oven."Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (no. 1160) and Ibn Hibban (no. 4165); al-Qari explains in Mirqat al-Mafatih (6/369): that is, even if she is baking bread at the oven, an absorbing task that one cannot leave before it is done; and Ibn al-Malik said: provided the bread is for the husband, since he called her in that state, so he accepted that his property be consumed, and the loss of property is lighter than the husband falling into fornication; see Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (4/272)
Abu Hurayrah reported from the Prophet:
"When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning." In one version: "When a woman spends the night avoiding her husband's bed, the angels curse her until she returns." And in another: "By Him in whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses him, except that the One in heaven is angry with her until he is pleased with her."Narrated by al-Bukhari (no. 4897 and 4898) and Muslim (no. 1436)
Beyond these hadiths, many others show the duty of obedience to the husband. The wife must answer the call to the marital bed, or the angels curse her; it is forbidden for her to observe a voluntary fast without his permission while he is present; and it is likewise forbidden for her, by consensus of the scholars, to leave his house without necessity without his permission. If she does any of that, she is nashiza (al-Muhadhdhab, 2/66-67; al-Mughni, 7/223; al-Kafi, 3/124).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya was asked about a man whose wife fasts by day and stands in prayer by night, refuses every call to the marital bed and gives priority to night prayer and fasting over obedience to her husband: is this permitted? He answered: that is not permitted to her, by consensus of the Muslims. She must obey him when he calls her to bed: that is an obligation. Night prayer and day fasting are voluntary acts: how could a believing woman give priority to the voluntary over the obligatory? The Prophet said, in the hadith narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah:
"It is not permissible for a woman to fast while her husband is present except with his permission, nor to allow anyone into his house without his permission." In the wording of Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah: "A woman does not fast one day other than Ramadan while her husband is present except with his permission."Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim; the two wordings by Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah
If the Prophet forbade voluntary fasting without permission while the husband is present, because by fasting she deprives him of part of what is his due, what then of her case when, called, she refuses? In the two Sahihs: "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning"; and in one wording: "the One in heaven is angry with her until morning". Allah the Most High said:
"Righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in the unseen what Allah has ordered them to guard."
Surah an-Nisa, 34
The righteous woman is the one who is obedient, that is, submitting to Allah and to her husband.
The wife has different states in her defiance, and each state has a stage of correction. The jurists do not disagree that the husband has the right to discipline his wife for her nushuz, and this discipline proceeds in three degrees: admonition, abandonment in bed, and physical discipline, according to Allah's saying:
"As for those from whom you fear defiance, admonish them, forsake them in bed, and strike them."
Surah an-Nisa, 34
First degree: admonition (al-wa'z). It consists of reminding her of the rewards and punishments connected with obedience and disobedience, which soften the heart: he admonishes her and frightens her concerning Allah the Most High, reminds her of the right and obedience Allah has imposed upon her toward him, the sin she incurs through disobedience, the rights she thereby loses (maintenance and clothing), and what becomes permissible for him (striking her and forsaking her in bed). He says to her, for example: "What has kept you from the kindness I used to find in you? What has changed you? Fear Allah and return to obeying me, for my right over you is an obligation", and the like. He admonishes her with gentleness and softness: "Be among the righteous women, obedient, guarding in the unseen, and do not be such and such": perhaps she will accept the exhortation and abandon her defiance.
The scholars agree that the husband may admonish his wife as soon as the signs of her nushuz appear or when she has actually defied, according to Allah's word cited above. The Shafi'is and the Hanbalis specify that he admonishes her as soon as the signs of nushuz appear on her by word or by deed, even if she has not yet acted. The sign by word: it used to be her habit, when he called her, to answer readily, and to reply to his speech with fine words; then she stops answering his call and speaking gently. The sign by deed: it used to be her habit, when he called her to bed, to come with a cheerful face, then she comes reluctantly; or it used to be her habit to rise and serve him when he entered upon her, then she stops rising and serving him.
In that case he only admonishes her, without forsaking her or striking her, for it is possible that this nushuz, if it arises later, would stem from his own conduct, or from a distress unrelated to the husband, or from a preoccupied heart. He then reminds her of the hadiths already cited: "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and does not come, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning" (Abu Dawud, no. 2141); "When a man calls his wife for his need, let her come, even if she is at the oven" (at-Tirmidhi, no. 1160; Ibn Hibban, no. 4165); "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning" (al-Bukhari, no. 4897; Muslim, no. 1436).
The Hanafis and the Malikis, for their part, specify that admonition applies only when the wife has actually defied (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 2/334; at-Taj wal-Iklil, 3/10; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/209-210; Tahrir al-Mukhtasar, 3/95-96; Hashiyat as-Sawi, 5/231-232).
The Shafi'is, in the apparent view, say: the husband does not strike her at this stage because the offense is not yet confirmed, for what has befallen her may be a transient condition. An-Nawawi says: the apparent view is that he may strike if he wishes, provided he knows that the striking achieves its purpose, as the apparent meaning of the Quran requires (al-Bayan, 9/528-529; Rawdat at-Talibin, 5/229 and 231; an-Najm al-Wahhaj, 7/416-417; Kanz ar-Raghibin, 3/752; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/424; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/216-217; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/451; ad-Dibaj, 3/366; al-Mughni, 7/241-242; al-Kafi, 3/137; Sharh az-Zarkashi, 2/448; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/237-238; Sharh Muntaha al-Iradat, 5/330-331).
The jurists differ greatly over the manner of the abandonment mentioned in Allah's saying: "and forsake them" (an-Nisa 34). The Hanafis hold several views: he forsakes her by ceasing to have intercourse with her and to lie with her on his bed; or by not speaking to her while they lie together, without however abandoning intercourse and sharing the bed, for that is a right common to both spouses: he would be harmed by it as much as she, and one does not discipline the wife in a way that harms the husband himself and nullifies his own right. It has also been said: he forsakes her by separating from her in bed and lying with another wife in her right, dividing the nights, for her right over him (the division) holds in a state of agreement and preservation of Allah's limits, not in neglect, fear of nushuz and quarreling.
And it has been said: he forsakes her by ceasing to lie with her and have intercourse at the time when her desire and need prevail, not at the time when he needs it, for this abandonment is meant as discipline and rebuke: he must discipline her, not himself, by abstaining when it is he who needs it (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 2/334). Among the Malikis: the husband avoids her in bed, to the point of not sleeping with her under one cover, hoping she will return from her defiance; its limit is one month, without reaching the four months of the vow of abstinence (at-Taj wal-Iklil, 3/10; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/209-210; Tahrir al-Mukhtasar, 3/95-96; Hashiyat as-Sawi, 5/231-232).
The Shafi'is say: what is meant is forsaking her bed, without lying with her in the same bed, according to Allah's saying: "and forsake them in their beds" (an-Nisa 34). It has also been said: abandoning intercourse; or saying words of abandonment to her, that is, harsh words; or tying her with the "hijar", the rope with which the stray camel is tied, a strange reported view. As for verbal abandonment, it is not permitted to abandon anyone, the wife or anyone else, for more than three days, though it is permitted within three, according to the authentic hadith:
"It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days." In one version: "... whoever forsakes for more than three days and then dies enters the Fire."Narrated by al-Bukhari (no. 6065) and Muslim (no. 2559); the second wording is authentic, narrated by Abu Dawud (no. 4914) and Ahmad (no. 9882)
Is that forbidden or merely disliked? Two views are reported from Imam ash-Shafi'i: he said: in my view, refraining from speech is never forbidden; but if he speaks, he must answer, as to the salam and its initiation. Ar-Rafi'i explains the view of those who hold it forbidden: leaving off speech without intention is not sinful, but with the intention of severance it is forbidden, just as one who leaves perfume without intention does not sin, but sins if he abandons it to mark mourning. It is reported from ash-Shafi'i: if he forsakes her by speech, he does not exceed three days, otherwise he sins. Ibn ar-Rif'a said: the disagreement concerns what exceeds three days, never the three days themselves. An-Nawawi ruled: the correct position is the prohibition of verbal abandonment beyond three days and its non-prohibition within the three, according to the authentic hadith cited.
This concerns abandonment without a religious excuse. If the one abandoned is blameworthy for an innovation, open sin or the like, or if the abandonment serves the religion of either party, it is not forbidden. Thus are understood the Prophet's abandonment of Ka'b ibn Malik and his two companions, his forbidding the Companions to speak to them, and the mutual abandonments of the early generations. A Muslim's abandonment beyond three days is forbidden when it stems from whim and the grudges of this world; but it is never forbidden toward the innovator or the one who openly displays injustice and sin, nor when there is a religious benefit in it (al-Bayan, 9/528-529; Rawdat at-Talibin, 5/229 and 231; Kifayat al-Akhyar, p. 434; an-Najm al-Wahhaj, 7/418; Kanz ar-Raghibin, 3/753; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/425; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/216-217; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/451; ad-Dibaj, 3/366).
The Hanbalis say: the abandonment is to leave her in her bed, not lying with her in it for as long as he wishes, according to Allah's saying: "and forsake them in their beds" (an-Nisa 34). Ibn Abbas said: "Do not lie with her in your bed" (a weak narration, by Ibn Abi Hatim in his Tafsir, 3/923, with Simak ibn Harb in its chain, whose transmission from 'Ikrima is criticized); the Quran is absolute and is not restricted without evidence, and the Prophet "forsook his wives and did not enter upon them for a month" (al-Bukhari, no. 5202; Muslim, no. 1085). As for abandonment by speech, it is not permitted beyond three days (al-Bukhari, no. 6065; Muslim, no. 2559). It has also been said: he forsakes her in the bed, and if he adds to it the verbal abandonment and his comings and goings to her, that is permitted though disliked (al-Mughni, 7/241-242; al-Kafi, 3/137; Sharh az-Zarkashi, 2/448-449; al-Mubdi', 7/214-215; al-Insaf, 8/376; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/237-238; Sharh Muntaha al-Iradat, 5/330-331; Matalib Uli an-Nuha, 5/287; Manar as-Sabil, 3/66).
Third degree: physical discipline (ad-darb). The jurists of the four schools agree that if the wife defies and persists in her nushuz after admonition and abandonment, it is permissible for the husband to strike her, according to Allah's saying: "and strike them" (an-Nisa 34). They also agree on the condition that this discipline be neither severe, nor shameful, nor bone-breaking, nor wounding, according to the Prophet's saying:
"If they do that, then strike them with a blow that is not severe." In one version: "If they do that, then forsake them in the beds and strike them with a blow that is not severe; if they obey you, seek no other way against them."Narrated by Muslim (no. 1218); the second wording, a good hadith, by at-Tirmidhi (no. 1163 and 3087) and Ibn Majah (no. 1851)
Ibn al-Qattan al-Fasi said: all have unanimously declared lawful the striking that Allah spelled out in His Book (al-Iqna' fi Masa'il al-Ijma', 3/1249, no. 2272). Imam Ibn Hubayra said: they agreed that a man may strike his wife if she defies, after admonishing her and forsaking her in bed (al-Ifsah, 2/161). The "mubrih" (severe) blow is the hard, painful one: the meaning of the hadith is "strike them with a blow neither hard nor painful"; "al-barh" means hardship, and "al-mubrih" is its active participle.
The Malikis and the Shafi'is state that if the husband is convinced that his wife will not abandon her nushuz except through a fearsome, severe blow, disciplining her by that means is not permitted. The Malikis add: if he strikes her severely, she has the right to obtain her divorce for transgression (ta'addi) as soon as it is established, even if the transgression is not repeated, even if she is a minor and prodigal, with no say from her guardian ('Aqd al-Jawahir ath-Thamina, 2/492; at-Taj wal-Iklil, 3/10; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/210; Tahrir al-Mukhtasar, 3/96; Hashiyat as-Sawi, 5/231 and 233; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/425; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/217-218; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/451-452; ad-Dibaj, 3/367). Most of the jurists state that it is preferable to refrain from striking.
The schools differ here on several points, beginning with the form of the discipline. The Hanafis say: the forbidden blow is only the severe one, according to the Prophet's saying: "strike them with a blow that is not severe" (Muslim, no. 1218): so he strikes her with a blow that is neither severe nor shameful, but if he transgresses he is liable, as will be shown. Likewise, if she commits a forbidden act other than nushuz, one with no fixed legal punishment, the husband may discipline her with a discretionary punishment, for he has authority to discipline his wife as the master disciplines his slave (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 2/334; al-Mu'tasar min al-Mukhtasar min Mushkil al-Athar, 1/304).
The Malikis say: the blow must be non-severe, that is, it must break no bone and disfigure no organ, such as a shove and the like; its purpose is rectification, nothing else, and if it leads to destruction, compensation becomes obligatory. Al-Hattab reports in al-Masa'il al-Malquta: whoever strikes his wife deliberately is liable for the resulting right, which varies between countries. And Abu Muhammad was asked about one who strikes his wife and then reconciles with her against a gift: that gift is binding on him, which shows that she holds a right (Mawahib al-Jalil, 5/227; see Tafsir al-Qurtubi, 5/172; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/210).
The Shafi'is stipulate not striking with a severe, bloody or repeated blow, and avoiding the face. The "mubriha" blow is that from which loss of life or of an organ is feared; the "mudmiya" is that which wounds and draws blood; the "muzmina" is that which falls repeatedly on the same spot, for the purpose is correction. The face is avoided, being the gathering place of beauty, as are the fearsome spots. One does not strike a delicate person who cannot bear it, and the blow must not reach forty lashes, the limit for a free person, nor twenty for others, for it would then be like the punishment for wine, the lightest of the fixed punishments. It has also been said that the blow is delivered only with a folded handkerchief or with the hand. If he strikes her with the permitted blow and she dies from it, the diyah falls upon the striker's indemnity group and the expiation upon his property.
The husband has no right to strike his wife outside of nushuz, for instance for having insulted him or others: that belongs to the ruler. The difference is that nushuz cannot be proven by testimony, unlike other bodily injuries (al-Bayan, 9/530; Sharh Sahih Muslim, 8/184; Kifayat al-Akhyar, p. 435; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/218; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/452).
The Hanbalis say: he strikes her with a non-severe blow, about ten lashes, no more, according to the hadith:
"Let none of you exceed ten lashes, except in a legal punishment of Allah the Most High."Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (no. 6850) and Muslim (no. 1708)
He avoids the face and the fearsome or prized spots, so as not to disfigure her: the purpose is correction, not destruction, according to the Prophet's saying:
"Do not strike the face, do not disfigure, and do not forsake except within the house."Authentic hadith, narrated by Abu Dawud (no. 2142) and Ibn Majah (no. 1850)
Ahmad said about a man who strikes his wife: "No one should ask him, nor her parents: why did you strike her?" It has also been said: he strikes her with a small pebble or a folded handkerchief (mikhraq), not with a whip nor a stick, for the purpose is correction and rebuke: one begins with the gentlest, then the gentlest again, and if she is injured by that, no compensation is due, for it is permitted by the Law. He is, however, prevented from striking her if he withholds one of her rights until he pays it: he would be unjust to claim his right while withholding hers (al-Mughni, 7/242; Sharh az-Zarkashi, 2/448-449; al-Mubdi', 7/215; al-Insaf, 8/376; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/238-239; Sharh Muntaha al-Iradat, 5/331; Matalib Uli an-Nuha, 5/287; Manar as-Sabil, 3/67).
Second point: the failure of the blow. Most of the jurists state that if the blow produces no effect and the husband knows it will not, it becomes forbidden: it is a punishment dispensed with.
The Hanafis say: if the blow is useful, he strikes; otherwise he refers the matter to the judge so that he may appoint for the two spouses two arbiters, one from the family of the one and one from the family of the other, according to Allah's saying:
"If you fear discord between the two of them, send an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family; if they both desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them."
Surah an-Nisa, 35
This resembles the commanding of right and the forbidding of wrong toward people in general: the one who commands begins with gentle exhortation, without harsh words; if she accepts, otherwise he hardens his words; if she accepts, otherwise he raises his hand (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 4/334). The Malikis say: striking is permitted only if he believes it will achieve its purpose; if he believes it will achieve nothing, it is not permitted to him, for striking is a means to reform the situation, and a means deprived of its purpose is not sanctioned by the Law (Mawahib al-Jalil, 5/227; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/210; Tahrir al-Mukhtasar, 3/96; Hashiyat as-Sawi, 5/231 and 233). The Shafi'is say: if he knows the blow serves no purpose, it is forbidden, for it is a punishment dispensed with (an-Najm al-Wahhaj, 7/419; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/425; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/218; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/452).
Third point: is striking preferable or its abstention? The Shafi'is and the Hanbalis state that it is best to refrain from striking, to preserve affection, and because of the hadith of Iyas ibn Abdullah ibn Abi Dhubab: the Messenger of Allah said: "Do not strike the maidservants of Allah." Then Omar came to the Messenger of Allah and said: "The women have become daring against their husbands", and striking was permitted. Many women of the people of the Messenger of Allah then came complaining of their husbands, and the Prophet said:
"Many women have come to the people of Muhammad complaining of their husbands: those are not the best of you."Authentic hadith, narrated by Abu Dawud (no. 2146) and Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (no. 4189)
This hadith is understood as meaning that pardoning the blow is preferable, or that the blow without a cause warranting it is meant, not an abrogation: recourse to abrogation is had only when combination is impossible and we know the chronology. Al-'Amrani said after mentioning this hadith: if we say the Sunnah may be abrogated by the Book, it is possible that the Prophet first forbade striking them, then the Book abrogated the Sunnah by His word "and strike them" (an-Nisa 34), then the Messenger of Allah permitted striking them in conformity with the Book, while showing that leaving it is preferable by his word "those are not the best of you". If we say the Sunnah cannot be abrogated by the Book, it is possible that the prohibition came first, then the Prophet abrogated it by permitting it, then the Book came in conformity with the Sunnah. His saying "the women have become daring against their husbands" means: they overstepped toward their husbands (al-Bayan, 9/530).
Imam al-Mawardi said after reporting the hadith: if it is asked how these two reports combine with the verse, given that it is not correct, according to the Shafi'i school, that the Quran abrogates the Sunnah, our companions have three answers. The first: the verse and the report permit striking in case of nushuz, while the other report forbids it outside of nushuz: striking was permitted when its cause exists and forbidden when its cause is absent, and this involves no contradiction. The second: he permitted striking as a permission and forbade it as a choice: striking, though permitted by the authorization, is better left, without contradiction or abrogation. The third: the report forbidding the blow was abrogated by Omar's report permitting it, then the verse came to show the cause of that permission: the Sunnah abrogated the Sunnah and the Book clarified, without the Book abrogating the Sunnah, and Allah knows best (al-Hawi al-Kabir, 9/600; Rawdat at-Talibin, 5/230-231; an-Najm al-Wahhaj, 7/419-420; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/426; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/218; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/452; al-Mubdi', 7/215; al-Insaf, 8/377; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/238).
Ibn al-Qattan al-Fasi said: the Prophet forbade striking women and commanded striking them; it is impossible that the forbidden blow be the one that was commanded, for the purpose is to deter her from future sin, and this kind of procedure begins with the gentlest, then the gentlest again, like one whose house has been overrun and who wants to expel the intruder (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 2/334; Mawahib al-Jalil, 5/227; Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/210; an-Najm al-Wahhaj, 7/419-420; Mughni al-Muhtaj, 4/425; Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 9/219; Nihayat al-Muhtaj, 6/452; ad-Dibaj, 3/367; al-Mughni, 7/242; al-Mubdi', 7/215; al-Insaf, 8/377; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/238; Manar as-Sabil, 3/66).
Fifth point: the order in discipline. Most of the jurists, namely the Hanafis, the Malikis, the Shafi'is (with details among them) and the Hanbalis according to the school, state that the order is obligatory: it is not permitted to the husband, if his wife defies, to strike her before admonishing her, nor to forsake her before admonishing her, according to Allah's saying: "those from whom you fear defiance, admonish them, forsake them in bed, and strike them" (an-Nisa 34). He begins with admonition; if it does not suffice, he moves to abandonment; if it does not suffice, he moves to striking if it is useful, otherwise not. But the Shafi'is in one view, and some Hanbalis, say that the husband may discipline his wife as he sees fit: he may strike her before admonition and abandonment, and forsake her before admonition.
The Hanafis elaborate: the husband holds the authority to discipline his defiant wife if she does not obey him in what requires obedience, but in order: he admonishes her first with gentleness; if the admonition succeeds and she returns to the bed, otherwise he forsakes her; and if, after the abandonment, she does not abandon her nushuz, he then strikes her with a blow neither severe nor shameful. Its basis is the Prophet's word reported by this verse: the apparent meaning of the verse, although the letter waw appears there for the absolute plural, indicates an ordered sequence, and the waw supports that. If the blow is ineffective, he refers the matter to the judge so that he may appoint two arbiters according to Allah's saying (an-Nisa 35). This resembles commanding right and forbidding wrong among people: gentle admonition, then harder words, then the hand. Likewise, if she commits a forbidden act other than nushuz, one with no fixed punishment, he may discipline her, as the master disciplines his slave (Bada'i' as-Sana'i', 2/334).
The Malikis: when the wife defies, the husband admonishes her by reminding her of the matters of the Hereafter and of the obedience she owes; if she does not comply, he forsakes her in her bed by keeping apart from her; if she does not comply, he strikes her with a non-severe blow, that is, one that breaks no bone and disfigures no organ. If he is convinced that she will not abandon her nushuz except through a fearsome blow, disciplining her by that means is not permitted to him; and he does not move from one degree to the next until he is convinced that the preceding degree achieves nothing, as was the case with gentleness. He does everything short of striking even if he does not believe it will work, hoping it will; the blow itself he delivers only if he believes it will achieve its purpose, because of its severity (Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil, 4/7; Tahrir al-Mukhtasar, 3/96; ash-Sharh al-Kabir with Hashiyyat ad-Dasuqi, 3/210).
The Shafi'is distinguish three states. First state: he sees in her signs of nushuz by word or deed, such as answering him harshly when she used to be gentle, or showing disdain and frowning when she used to be cheerful and kind: at this degree he admonishes her without striking or forsaking her. Second state: her nushuz is confirmed but is not repeated and she does not persist in it: he admonishes her and forsakes her; on striking, there are two views: Shaykh Abu Hamid and al-Muhammili preferred prohibition, while the authors of the Muhadhdhab and the Shamil permitted it. An-Nawawi said: ar-Rafi'i preferred prohibition in al-Muharrar, and the one agreeing with the apparent meaning of the Quran held permission, which is the chosen position, and Allah knows best. Third state: the nushuz is repeated and she persists in it: abandonment and striking are permitted to him without disagreement; such is the relied-upon method across the three degrees (Rawdat at-Talibin, 5/231-232).
An-Nawawi reports that Ibn Kaj mentioned a view permitting abandonment and striking at the mere fear of nushuz, for the apparent meaning of the verse. Al-Hannati reported three views when nushuz appears: he has admonition, abandonment and striking; or he chooses among them without combining them; or he admonishes her, then forsakes her if she is not admonished, then strikes her if she is not deterred (Rawdat at-Talibin, 5/231-232). The Hanbalis: when the signs of nushuz appear in her, such as heaviness when he calls her, refusal when he calls her to intimacy, or answering him sullenly and reluctantly, and her manners toward him break down, and he has admonished her: if she returns to obedience and good manners, abandonment and striking become forbidden, their warrant having disappeared. If she persists and displays her nushuz by disobeying him, refusing his call to bed, or leaving his house without his permission, he forsakes her in bed for as long as he wishes (an-Nisa 34), and forsakes her by speech three days, no more; if she persists and is not deterred by the abandonment, he may strike her (an-Nisa 34): striking thus comes after the abandonment in bed and three days without speech (al-Mughni, 7/242; al-Mubdi', 7/215; al-Insaf, 8/377; Kashshaf al-Qina', 5/237-238; Manar as-Sabil, 3/66).
Ibn Qudama said: the apparent meaning of al-Khiraqi's words is that striking is not permitted at the first instance; yet it is reported from Ahmad: "If the wife disobeys her husband, he may strike her with a blow that is not severe", whose apparent meaning permits striking at the first instance, according to Allah's saying "and strike them" (an-Nisa 34), and because she has refused outright, a situation like persistence; and the penalties for disobedience do not vary with repetition, unlike the fixed punishments. The meaning of al-Khiraqi's view is that the purpose is to deter her from future sin, and this kind of procedure begins with the gentlest. Allah's saying "those from whom you fear defiance" contains an ellipsis whose restored meaning is: "those from whom you fear defiance: admonish them; if they defy, forsake them in the beds; if they persist, strike them", like Allah's saying:
"The recompense of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and strive upon the earth to spread corruption is only that they be killed or crucified, or that their hands and feet be cut off from opposite sides, or that they be banished from the land."
Surah al-Ma'ida, 33
The proof of this is that these penalties are laid upon the mere fear of nushuz, and it is agreed that he does not strike her for fear of nushuz before it appears. Ash-Shafi'i has two views like these: if admonition and abandonment do not deter her, he may strike her (an-Nisa 34) (al-Mughni, 7/242).
Az-Zarkashi said: the restored meaning of the verse, on this exposition, according to Abu Muhammad, is: "those from whom you fear defiance: admonish them; if they defy, forsake them in the beds; if they persist, strike them", like the verse of brigandage, but that involves disorder. The statement of Abu al-Barakat and Abu al-Khattab implies that admonition, abandonment and striking take place upon the appearance of the signs of nushuz, but in sequence. Al-Majd said: when the signs are clear, he rebukes her with words, then forsakes her in bed and speech under three days, then strikes her with a non-severe blow: that is the apparent meaning of the verse. The waw there is for sequence, either by its own meaning or by an external proof: the purpose is the removal of corruption, repelled with the gentlest then the gentlest. Striking her was thus permitted upon mere disobedience, as required by the preceding hadith, which the Prophet uttered in his sermon at 'Arafa; and had striking depended upon abandonment, he would have made it explicit, for that day was a time of need, the people dispersing to their lands, and Allah knows best (Sharh az-Zarkashi, 2/448).
The vizier Ibn Hubayra said: they agreed that a man may strike his defiant wife after admonishing her and forsaking her in bed, and they differed over whether he may strike her at the very outset of nushuz: they said it is not permitted, except ash-Shafi'i in one of his two views: striking at the very outset of nushuz is permitted to him (al-Ifsah, 2/161).