Islamic Fiqh > Marriage and family > Couple life in the Sunna: daily benevolence > 10. The husband's right to prevent his wife from leaving the home
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Updated on 25 September 2026 at 3:23 PM
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The jurists of the four schools agree: a woman is commanded to remain at home, and the husband may prevent her from leaving his dwelling except out of necessity, obedience to the husband being obligatory, and the obligatory is not abandoned for the non-obligatory; she goes out only with his permission, save for necessity; the husband's standing right to enjoyment prevents her denying it to him by her outings, and the husband protects his family by preventing her from going out, provided he provides for her needs; otherwise she must go out for necessity, and her maintenance does not lapse on that account ("Bada'i as-Sana'i" 2/331, "Sharh Fath al-Qadir" 3/437-438, "al-Bahr ar-Ra'iq" 4/212-213, "Ghumz uyun al-basa'ir" 2/108, "Hashiyat as-Sawi" 2/258-259, "al-Hawi al-Kabir" 9/584-585, "al-Bayan" 9/499-501, "Kashshaf al-Qina" 5/223).
Imam al-Kasani: among the rulings of a valid marriage is the right of confinement, by Allah's word "Lodge them where you lodge" (Surah At-Talaq, 65:6): the command to lodge them forbids expelling them or making them go out; "And remain in your homes" (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:33); "Do not expel them from their homes, nor should they leave" (Surah At-Talaq, 65:1); were a woman not prevented from going out, dwelling and lineage would be disturbed, troubling the husband to the point of denying paternity ("Bada'i as-Sana'i" 2/331). Al-Qurtubi, commenting "And remain in your homes": the verse commands keeping to the house; though addressed to the Prophet's wives, others are included by meaning, so abundant is the Shari'ah in commanding women to keep to their homes save for necessity ("Tafsir al-Qurtubi" 14/179). Ibn al-Arabi al-Maliki reports in "Ahkam al-Qur'an" (3/569) that he passed by nearly a thousand villages and never saw women more chaste than those of Nablus, where he stayed for months without glimpsing a single woman in the road by day, save on Friday, when they filled the mosque before returning home at once; in the other villages their women were seen adorned and scattered on every occasion.
The Hanafis: a wife does not go out without her husband's permission, and he may discipline her for leaving without permission; except if she needs an urgent religious consultation which he refuses to seek though he is not knowledgeable; otherwise he may prevent her attending gatherings of knowledge, unless her father is a corrupt man with no one to care for him, Muslim or unbeliever: she must then disobey the husband's prohibition. If he has a young mother who attends weddings and funerals, her son cannot prevent her, unless her going out is shown to aim at corruption: the matter is then brought before the judge, who, if he permits him to prevent her, prevents her ("Sharh Fath al-Qadir" 3/437-438, "al-Bahr ar-Ra'iq" 4/212-213, "Ghumz uyun al-basa'ir" 2/108).
The jurists differed on the husband's right to prevent his wife from visiting her parents, visiting them when ill, or attending their funerals. The Shafi'is and Hanbalis: he may prevent her from going out, whether for what she needs or not, whether visiting her parents, visiting them ill or attending their funerals, for obedience to the husband is obligatory, visiting is not, and the obligatory is not abandoned for the non-obligatory; she goes out only with his permission. He should nonetheless not prevent her, for that would be estrangement from them and would push her to disobey him, whereas Allah commands kind companionship ("al-Hawi al-Kabir" 9/584-585, "al-Bayan" 9/499-501).
The Shafi'is cite the report of Thabit from Anas: a man traveled while forbidding his wife to go out; her father fell ill, and she asked the Prophet's permission to visit him: "Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband"; then the father died, and she asked permission to attend the funeral, with the same answer; Allah then revealed to His Prophet that He had forgiven her father in reward for her obedience to her husband (a weak hadith: at-Tabarani, "al-Awsat" 1/169/2), for women going out to funerals is a reprehensible exposure; and visiting sick parents or their funerals is not obligatory for her. It is nonetheless recommended that the husband not prevent her if the father is gravely ill or has died, for that alienates her from him and tempts her to filial disobedience, sowing enmity.
The Hanbalis: the same view; Ahmad, asked about a woman whose mother was ill, said that obedience to the husband is more obligatory than that owed to the mother, unless he permits; Ibn Battah reports in "Ahkam an-nisa" from Anas the same account: "Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband," then the revelation: "I have forgiven her father for her obedience to her husband." Likewise if one of her mahrams is ill or dies (brothers, cousins): it is recommended to permit nursing, visiting or attending the funeral, in consideration of kinship ties; preventing her would sever them. It is not, however, recommended to permit her to visit her parents in good health, for lack of need and lest she grow accustomed to it. Nor can the husband prevent her from speaking with them or visiting them: there is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator, save fear of harm known from the circumstances ("al-Mughni" 7/224-225, "al-Kafi" 3/123, "al-Insaf" 8/360, "Kashshaf al-Qina" 5/222-223, "Sharh Muntaha al-Iradat" 5/315-316, "ar-Rawd al-murbi" 2/348-349, "Manar as-Sabil" 3/57).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah: the husband may prevent his wife from leaving his dwelling; if he forbids her, she does not visit an ill mahram nor attend his funeral; in absolute terms, the question is whether going out without permission is permitted like work, or forbidden without permission like fasting ("al-Fatawa al-Kubra" 4/562). He also says, regarding the woman who confines her husband to her own right: if he fears she will go out without his authorization, he lodges her where going out is impossible; lacking a guardian, she stays with him; if he is unable, or harm is feared, she is lodged in a fortress; and as soon as her going out becomes suspected of immorality, it falls under Allah's right, which the ruler must guard ("al-Insaf" 8/360).
The Hanafis, in detail, hold that the husband cannot prevent his wife from visiting her parents, visiting them ill, attending their funerals, nor their visiting her. Her parents and relatives may see her and speak with her at whatever time her family chooses, prevention severing kinship without benefit to him. May the husband prevent her family from entering his house? Three views: he may prevent them, even mother or child, the house being his property, though he cannot drive them from the door ("al-Khaniyya," adopted by al-Quduri); or he cannot prevent entry, only the stay, temptation lying in prolonged stays and talk; or, and this is the sound view and the one issued in fatwa, he does not prevent her going to her parents nor them entering upon her every week, nor other mahrams every year, but may forbid them to stay with her. Abu Yusuf, in "an-Nawadir," conditions her going out on her parents' inability to come to her, a fine judgment, since some women find going out burdensome alongside the father while it weighs on the husband. Ibn Nujaym: the sound view is Abu Yusuf's if the parents are of the described condition; otherwise she is permitted to visit them at regular intervals, weekly going out opening the door to temptation, especially if she is young and the husband of high standing; the parents' visits being easier. If her father is corrupt and needs her, she must disobey the husband who prevents her, whether he is Muslim or unbeliever ("Fath al-Qadir"). It follows that, on the sound view, she may go each week to her parents with or without permission, and each year to the mahrams; beyond that, only with his permission.
"az-Zahiriyya": he may permit her to visit the parents, offer condolences, visit them ill and see the mahrams. "al-Khulasa," citing "Majmu an-nawazil": he may permit her to go out to seven destinations: visiting the parents, visiting them ill, condolences, visiting the mahrams; if she is a midwife or a washer of the dead, or has a right over another or another over her, she goes out with or without permission; likewise the hajj; beyond that (visiting strangers, weddings), neither permission nor going out, and should he let her go, both disobey. She is prevented from the public bath. If she wishes to attend a lesson of knowledge without her husband's approval: should an urgent need arise, if she asks the scholar or the husband informs her, going out is not permitted to her; if he refuses to inquire, she goes out without his approval; absent urgent need, if she wishes to learn a question of ablution or prayer: a husband who knows the questions may prevent her; otherwise it is preferable to permit her at times, and should he not permit, nothing is charged against him. In "al-Fatawa," in the chapter of the mahr: before receiving her mahr, a woman may go out for her needs and visit relatives without her husband's permission; after payment, only with permission. The same in "al-Khaniyya," with the addition of a house threatening collapse. The hajj is conditioned on it being obligatory with a mahram; the going out of the midwife and washer to the husband's permission; it is fitting even that the husband prevent them, her going out harming him while his right precedes the communal obligation, unlike the obligatory hajj, an individual obligation. These statements apply to a woman not empowered to litigate, her proxy being refused; if she is empowered, going out without the husband's permission is not permitted, her proxy being accepted without the adversary's approval; no author has noted this. It is said here that he may prevent her from spinning, that she performs neither voluntary prayer nor fasting without his permission; better: not to restrict it to spinning but to all paid work she does not need, her maintenance being his duty; likewise voluntary work for another ("al-Bahr ar-Ra'iq" 4/212-213, "Ghumz uyun al-basa'ir" 2/108, "Sharh Fath al-Qadir" 3/437-438, "al-Lubab" 2/167-168, "al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya" 1/556-557: the husband cannot prevent her parents and children from seeing her and speaking with her at whatever time they choose, "al-Hidaya"; the masters of Balkh: the mahrams once a year, and this is the fatwa; a woman does not travel with her slave even if castrated, nor with her Zoroastrian son, nor with a milk-brother in our time, nor with another woman, nor with a mahram boy who has not reached puberty, unless he is about twelve or thirteen; a young girl without desire does not travel without a mahram, but travels with her daughter's husband, her son-in-law or her mother's husband, "al-Wajiz" of al-Kardari; she gives nothing of his property without his permission and fasts only the obligatory, per the fatwa of Qadi Khan).
The Malikis: she may apparently go out to her parents' funerals. They divide women into four categories: the old woman whom men no longer need: she goes out like a man, to the mosque, to the obligations, to gatherings of knowledge and remembrance, to the festivals and the prayer for rain, to her family's funerals, and for her needs. The woman still sought: she goes to the mosque for the prayers and gatherings of knowledge, without multiplying her outings (which is disapproved for her). The young woman who is not a temptation: she goes out for congregational prayer and her family's funerals, without festival outings, prayer for rain or gatherings. The young woman who is a temptation: it is preferable that she not go out at all. It is said: the going out of a young woman free of temptation is lawful for the mosque and the funeral of a relative, without compulsion upon the husband; where temptation is feared, going out is never permitted to her. As-Sawi: a young woman free of temptation cannot compel her husband; for the sought-after woman, some hold compulsion possible per Ibn Rushd's words, others not, in line with the reports and al-Abi; no compulsion upon the husband for the young woman, even if such a clause was stipulated in the contract, though fulfilling her is preferable ("Hashiyat as-Sawi" 2/258-259). In "ash-Sharh as-saghir": the going out of a sought-after woman free of temptation is permitted to the funeral of one whose loss is immense (father, mother, husband, son, daughter, brother, sister); it is forbidden to the tempting woman in all cases; it is inferred that a sought-after wife free of temptation may attend her own husband's funeral, despite the mourning ("Hashiyat as-Sawi" 3/21).
Ibn Rushd reports that Malik was asked whether a husband may prevent his wife from going to greet her brother or father: "No, so long as she does not do it excessively; the matters one wishes to forbid have many aspects, and women are not all alike: for the sought-after woman, it is not his right; for one who cannot be trusted in herself, it is his right, even against his will." A man related to him the case of a wealthy woman who supported her husband and then ceased to do so; the man wished to travel while she had with her only a mahram, and forbade her to cross the threshold of his house; Malik ordered that she go to her family and deemed his act harmful. Muhammad ibn Rushd specifies: the disagreement concerns only the young woman who can be trusted; for the sought-after woman, there is no dispute over compelling him to allow visits to father or brother; for the untrusted young woman, no dispute over refusal, nor over the hajj. A man must allow his wife's female relatives to enter upon her; among men, only her mahrams especially ("al-Bayan wa-t-tahsil" 9/331-333).
The husband cannot prevent his wife's parents from entering upon her, nor her children by another marriage: he is compelled, so that the parents may check on their daughter and the mother see her children, maintaining ties being recommended and custom established. If he swears to keep her parents out, he breaks his oath and is compelled to let them enter; likewise if the wife is trustworthy and he swears to prevent her visiting her parents: the oath is broken as soon as the judge lets her go out for a legitimate interest. If she has minor children by another marriage, their entry upon their mother is compelled once each day; if grown, once a week; the parents enter once a week; if he suspects them of corrupting his wife and the indications support him, they enter each week accompanied by a chaperone chosen by him, to prevent seclusion. He cannot prevent her brother, her uncles, her nephew or her niece, but their case does not reach the oath, which is reserved to the parents ("Sharh Mukhtasar Khalil" 4/187-188, "at-Tahrir" 3/409-411).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah: a married woman must prefer obedience to her husband over that owed to her parents; unlike the widow, who is commanded to obey her parents ("Majmu al-Fatawa" 10/428). Asked about a married woman who had left her parents' authority: which is better, filial devotion or obedience to the husband? He answered: when she marries, her husband has more right over her than her parents, and obeying him is more obligatory, by Allah's word:
"Righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard, in absence, what Allah has entrusted to them."
Surah An-Nisa, 4:34
And by the hadith: "This world is but enjoyment, and the best of its enjoyment is the righteous woman: if you look at her she pleases you; if you command her she obeys you; if you are absent she guards your honor and your property" (Muslim). In the "Sahih" of Abu Hatim, from Abu Hurayrah: the hadith of the five prayers cited above. In at-Tirmidhi, from Umm Salamah: "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her enters Paradise" (a hasan hadith). From Abu Hurayrah: the hadith of prostration, at-Tirmidhi: hasan; Abu Dawud: "I would command the women to prostrate to their husbands, in view of the right Allah has given them over them." In the Musnad, from Anas: "It does not befit a human being to prostrate to a human being; were it befitting anyone, I would command the wife to prostrate to her husband, given the greatness of his right over her. By Him in Whose hand is my soul: were he to have, from foot to crown of the head, an oozing, pus-running sore, and she licked it, she would still not have fulfilled his right." In the Musnad and the Sunan of Ibn Majah, from Aishah, the version of the red and black mountains; in the Musnad, the Sunan of Ibn Majah and the Sahih of Ibn Hibban, from Abdallah ibn Abi Awfah, the account of Mu'adh returning from Syria; from Taliq ibn Ali: "Any wife called by her husband to his need must come, even if she is at the oven" (Abu Hatim, at-Tirmidhi: hasan); and, in the Sahih, the hadith of the angels cursing the wife who refuses the bed until morning; the hadiths on this are many.
Zayd ibn Thabit used to say: the husband is a master in the Book of Allah, citing: "and the two found her master at the door" (Surah Yusuf, 12:25). Umar used to say: "Marriage is servitude: let each of you look well to whom he entrusts his noble daughter." At-Tirmidhi and others report: "Treat women well, for they are with you but as captives." A woman with her husband is like a slave and a captive: she does not leave his home without his permission, whether her father or mother decree otherwise or not, by agreement of the imams; and if the husband wishes to move while fulfilling his duties and guarding Allah's limits, and her father prevents her, she obeys her husband, her parents then being the wrongdoers. She may not either obey her mother commanding her to provoke scenes with her husband or to extort him with demands (maintenance, clothing, mahr) so that he divorces her: in the four Sunan and the Sahih of Abu Hatim, from Thawban: "Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without grave cause makes the perfume of Paradise unlawful to herself"; another hadith: "The women who complain and wrest divorce are the hypocrites." Conversely, if her parents, or anyone, command her the obedience owed to Allah (prayers, truthfulness, trust) or forbid her squandering, she obeys; and if the husband prevents what Allah commands or commands what He forbids, she does not obey him: "There is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator"; even a master cannot make his slave obey him in disobedience: how then could a wife obey her husband or parents in disobedience to Allah? All good lies in obeying Allah and His Messenger, and all evil in disobeying them ("Majmu al-Fatawa" 32/261-265, "Kashshaf al-Qina" 5/223-224).
The jurists of the four schools agree: a woman may go to the mosque with her husband's permission and the required conditions; they agree likewise that it is recommended for the husband to permit her, with details among them, on the strength of the hadiths of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
Do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from the mosques of Allah.Narrated by al-Bukhari (858) and Muslim (442), from Abdallah ibn Umar
One of Umar's wives attended the morning and evening prayers in congregation at the mosque; she was told: why do you go out, when you know Umar disapproves and is jealous? She answered: what stops him from forbidding me? He is prevented by the word of the Messenger of Allah: do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from the mosques of Allah.Narrated by al-Bukhari (858)
If your wives ask your permission to go to the mosque, grant it to them.Narrated by Muslim (442)
If a woman asks permission from any one of you, let him not prevent her.Narrated by al-Bukhari (835)
The jurists differed on the husband's right to forbid the mosque. Most scholars, the Shafi'is and Hanbalis of the madhhab (narrated also from the Hanafis and Malikis), hold that he may forbid it, based on the raised report: "It is not lawful for a woman to admit anyone into her husband's house while he disapproves, nor to go out while he disapproves" (a weak hadith: at-Tabarani, "al-Kabir" 20/107 and 210, al-Hakim 2770, al-Bayhaqi 14492); and on the account reported from Ibn Umar: a woman asked the Prophet the husband's right over his wife; he said she does not leave her house without his permission, the angels cursing her otherwise until she repents or returns; she asked: and if he is unjust? He said: even if he is unjust; she swore never again to let anyone direct her affairs. This account passes through Layth ibn Abi Sulaym and is weak; Ibn Hazm writes in "al-Muhalla" (10/332): Layth is weak, and Allah forbid that the Prophet permit injustice: this addition is fabricated. It is also reported: "The woman is an intimate part: when she goes out, the devil watches her; and she is closest to her Lord in the depth of her house" (Ibn Khuzaymah 1685-1686, Ibn Hibban 5598); and because her outings deprive the husband of his right of enjoyment.
As for the words "Do not prevent the female slaves of Allah," were the husband not given this right, the woman would go out whether he permitted or not. The scholars offered interpretations: it would mean the recommendation for those who draw no looks; or the recommendation for Fridays and festivals; or the Sacred Mosque during the hajj, a weak interpretation since the text says "the mosques of Allah," in the plural ("al-Hawi al-Kabir" 9/229, "al-Muhadhdhab" 2/66, "al-Bayan" 9/499-500, "Asna al-matalib" 1/210 and 527).
Imam Ibn Rajab: no disagreement is known among the scholars that a woman does not go to the mosque without her husband's permission; this is the view of Ibn al-Mubarak, ash-Shafi'i, Malik, Ahmad and others. Some of the early generations nevertheless sufficed, for permission, with the husband's knowledge of her going out without prohibition, just as a slave becomes authorized in trade by the master's uncontradicted silence. Malik reports from Yahya ibn Sa'id that Atikah bint Zayd asked her husband Umar's permission for the mosque and he kept silent; she would say: "By Allah, I shall go out unless you forbid me," and he did not forbid her. The account of Ibn Umar is given by al-Bukhari through Ubaydallah ibn Umar, and by Ahmad through Salim from Umar with an interrupted chain ("Fath al-Bari" 5/317-319). An-Nawawi: these hadiths are apparent in that she is not prevented from the mosque, subject to conditions drawn from the hadiths: without perfume or adornment, without clinking anklets, without luxurious garments, without mixing with men, without youth liable to tempt; and safety on the road. The prohibition of preventing wives is mere remonstrance; for her who has neither husband nor master, preventing her is unlawful when the conditions are met ("Sharh Sahih Muslim" 4/161-162). In "al-Majmu": it is recommended for the husband to permit his wife to go pray at the mosque if she is elderly, stirring no desire, and safety from mischief is established for her and others; if he prevents her, it is not unlawful, and this is our madhhab; al-Bayhaqi reports the view of most scholars. The hadith "Do not prevent" is explained as a remonstrative prohibition: the husband's right to keep her at home is obligatory and is not abandoned for virtue ("al-Majmu" 4/171).
Imam Zayn ad-Din al-Iraqi, commenting the hadith "If one of your women asks permission, do not prevent her": is this command to husbands obligatory or recommended? Al-Bayhaqi placed it under recommendation, citing the hadith of Umm Hamid: "Messenger of Allah, we love to pray with you, but our husbands prevent us"; he replied: "Your prayers in your houses are better than your prayers in your quarters, and your prayers in your quarters are better than your prayers in your neighborhood mosque"; al-Bayhaqi infers that the command not to prevent them belongs to recommendation, which is the view of most scholars. Ibn Battal rules in the same direction: the prohibition of preventing them is a prohibition of etiquette, not an obligation. It also follows that a woman goes to the mosque only with the permission of her husband or guardian; Ibn Daqiq al-Id sees in it a proof of the husband's right to forbid any going out without his authorization ("Tarh at-tathrib" 2/279-280). Ibn Qudamah reports that al-Zubayr, married to Atikah bint Zayd, being jealous, asked her to pray at home; she answered she would not stop going out unless he forbade her, and he disliked preventing her because of this hadith ("al-Mughni" 7/225, "al-Kafi" 1/175).
The jurists differed concerning the husband of a dhimmi wife: may he prevent her from going to church? The majority, namely the Hanafis, the Malikis in one view, the Shafi'is and the Hanbalis, hold that he may prevent her from going to houses of worship, churches and synagogues, for this is neither obedience nor benefit. Ahmad states it in the transmission of Ya'qub ibn Bakhtan regarding the Christian wife: he does not permit her to attend the Christians' festivals or the churches. Ahmad was asked, regarding a Christian wife or slave woman wanting a belt (zunnar): he is not to buy it, but she goes out to buy it herself; and may his slave girl make them? No. In the transmission of Muhammad ibn Yahya al-Kahhal and Abu al-Harith, regarding a Christian slave woman asking to attend their festivals, churches and gatherings: he does not permit her.
Ibn al-Qayyim: al-Qadi justified the prevention by the loss of the right of enjoyment, which is not Ahmad's intent; the true reason is that the husband does not aid his wife in the causes of disbelief nor permit her rites. Al-Qadi used to say: if he may prevent the Muslim wife from the mosques, preventing the dhimmi from the church is better founded; but this reasoning is invalid, for one cannot prevent the Muslim wife from the mosques; stranger still: he cites the hadith and answers it with two invalid answers: that it concerns only the festival prayer, or the prevention of hajj to the Sacred Mosque ("Ahkam ahl adh-dhimma" 2/819-820, "al-Mughni" 7/224-225).
Ibn al-Qayyim also devotes a chapter to the Scriptuary wife's observance of her rites of worship. Ahmad, in the transmission of Muhannah: may he prevent her bringing a cross into his house? He may order her, but not prevent her. In al-Kahhal's transmission, regarding her who asks that a belt be bought for her: he does not buy it, she goes out to buy it; may his slave girl make them? No. Al-Qadi: the reason is that the belt serves to display the rites of disbelief, while the wage of making it belongs to the slave girl and becomes her property; the same as the prohibition of selling silk garments to men known to wear them, or juice to one who makes wine of it. The husband cannot prevent his dhimmi wife from fasting what she holds obligatory, even at the cost of enjoyment, nor from praying in his house toward the east; the Prophet indeed permitted the Christian delegation of Najran to pray in his mosque toward their qiblah. Nor can he compel the Jewish woman during menstruation to lie with him and enjoy what is above the vagina: this is the school's analogy; nor force her to break the Sabbath, nor to eat the fats and meats forbidden in their law, which he has confirmed them upon. May he prevent her eating pork? Two views. May he prevent her being alone with her son, her father or her brother? If she is Zoroastrian, yes, for they deem her lawful to them and are not her mahrams; if she is Jewish or Christian, he cannot prevent it if they are trustworthy, but may prevent her traveling with them; and he cannot prevent her reading her book in a low voice. If she wishes to fast Ramadan with him, may he prevent her? Two views: yes, for it is not obligatory upon her, as he prevents the Muslim wife's voluntary fasting to spare himself; no, for he has no right of enjoyment during the day of Ramadan, and if he cannot prevent her the abrogated, false fast, still less does he prevent her the fast of Ramadan. The difference lies in that she holds the fast of her religion obligatory, which is confirmed, unlike what she does not hold obligatory ("Ahkam ahl adh-dhimma" 2/822-823).
The Hanafis: a Muslim who marries a dhimmi may prevent her going to churches and synagogues, and she erects no cross in his house, the erection of a cross being like the erection of an idol; she prays in his house wherever she wishes ("Bada'i as-Sana'i" 7/114, "al-Muhit al-Burhani" 5/221, "al-Bahr ar-Ra'iq" 3/111, "Hashiyat Ibn Abidin" 4/77, "al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya" 5/346). Ash-Shafi'i: he may prevent her from the church and the festivals, as he may prevent the Muslim wife from the mosque, which is a right; for Christian women, the prevention of the church rests on its nullity ("al-Umm" 5/8, "al-Hawi al-Kabir" 228-229). The Malikis of the madhhab: the husband cannot prevent her going to church or places of worship, for he married her on that condition. "al-Mudawwana al-Kubra": Malik said: a man cannot prevent his Christian wife from eating pork, drinking wine or going to her church (4/307). Al-Maziri: the disagreement among us concerns preventing the Christian wife from wine, pork and church: some say he cannot prevent her the rulings of her religion, for he married her on that condition; others say he may prevent her, the church excepted for an obligatory duty and a rare command ("Sharh at-talqin" 2/98, "Hashiyat al-Adawi" 2/79).
Ibn Rushd reports from Asbagh: I heard Ibn al-Qasim, asked about the Christian wife under a Muslim's authority who would break the fast she keeps with her people: I see no forcing her to the laws of her religion, nor preventing what they avoid in their fast; it is not for the judge to impose it, nor for the husband to prevent it out of disdain; Allah says: "There is no compulsion in religion, for the right way has become distinct from error" (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:256), and one recites the chapter of the disbelievers down to: "To you your religion, and to me mine" (Surah Al-Kafirun, 109:6). Muhammad ibn Rushd: it is indisputable that he cannot prevent what she practices of her religion. The disagreement concerns wine, pork and church: in "al-Mudawwana," he cannot prevent her; in the book of Ibn al-Mawwaz, he may prevent her, for these are not her religion, and the church except an obligation ("al-Bayan wa-t-tahsil" 2/349, "Mawahib al-Jalil" 3/333). Ibn al-Mundhir: Malik held that a Muslim cannot prevent his Christian wife from going to her church or eating pork; ash-Shafi'i held that he may prevent her the church as he prevents the Muslim wife the mosque, which is a right, the church being null; Abu Bakr held that he may prevent her the church ("al-Awsat" 5/141).
The jurists differed concerning the husband of a Christian or Jewish dhimmi: may he prevent her drinking wine and eating pork? The Shafi'is and the Hanbalis in one view: he may prevent her drinking wine, nabidh and all that intoxicates, for two reasons: he may fear her intoxication and the wrong she might do him; and intoxication may prevent his enjoyment of her: either cause making enjoyment impossible, the prevention follows by consensus. If she wishes to drink wine or nabidh without becoming intoxicated, three views: Abu Ali ibn Abi Hurayrah holds he may prevent her even the small amount, for the threshold of intoxication is unknown and a little may intoxicate, intoxication varying with temperaments and humors: the bilious are intoxicated by little, the phlegmatic only by much; in cold weather little suffices, in hot weather much is needed. Abu Hamid al-Isfara'ini: no indicator showing that beyond this measure one is intoxicated, and this measure not impeding enjoyment, Muslim souls may nevertheless disapprove of it, especially where religion is strong and devotion abundant; it then becomes an impediment to perfect enjoyment, and the lawfulness of prevention carries two views. A third view: he cannot prevent her drinking the small amount their religion considers an act of worship at their festivals, but may prevent her exceeding it, whether it intoxicates or not, in consideration of the worship and not of intoxication.
For the Muslim wife, the husband prevents her wine, small and great, and all unlawful things; as for nabidh: if both are Shafi'is holding it unlawful like wine, he prevents her small and great; if they are Hanafis holding it lawful, it is treated like wine in the dhimmi's case: he prevents her to the point of intoxication, the small amount falling under the stated disagreement. For pork, he prevents the Muslim wife without disagreement. For the dhimmi: if she is Jewish and holds it unlawful then eats it, he prevents her as he does the Muslim wife; if she is Christian and holds it lawful, there is disagreement, but the most widespread view is that he may prevent her unconditionally if it disgusts him, the Muslim soul's aversion to pork being greater than to wine, making it an impediment to enjoyment, its impurity graver, hard to purify and transmissible. Abu Hamid al-Isfara'ini said it prevents perfect enjoyment without preventing it in itself; the forbidding of prevention carries two views: if she eats it, he may compel her to wash her mouth and hand so its impurity does not transmit upon kissing or touching; two views on the measure: seven times, one with earth, like a dog's pollution; or once without earth, the compulsion bearing on his own right and not Allah's. As for foul-smelling food (garlic, onion, foul vegetables), the Muslim wife and the dhimmi are equal: if it is a medicine she is compelled to take, he does not prevent her; if for taste, it impedes perfect enjoyment, and prevention carries two views ("al-Umm" 5/8, "al-Hawi al-Kabir" 9/229-230, "al-Bayan" 9/498-499, "al-Muhadhdhab" 2/66, "Bahr al-madhhab" 9/225).
Ibn Qudamah: he may prevent her intoxication even for a dhimmi, for intoxication removes the mind and makes her like an inflated wineskin, with no guarantee against her wrong; if she wishes to drink what does not intoxicate, he prevents the Muslim wife since both hold it unlawful; for the dhimmi, he cannot prevent her, stated by Ahmad, she holding it lawful in her religion; he may compel her to rinse her mouth of all impurity to enjoy her mouth; better still: prevent it for the foul odor, like garlic. The same if he marries a Muslim wife who holds a little nabidh lawful: two views; and the madhhab of ash-Shafi'i covers the whole chapter ("al-Mughni" 7/224, "al-Kafi" 3/123).
Ibn al-Qayyim devotes a chapter to preventing the Scriptuary wife from intoxication: he may prevent it, for it harms him; may he prevent her drinking what does not intoxicate? Al-Qadi made it follow the two narrations for what impedes perfect enjoyment without impeding it in principle. The explicit text, in Muhannah's transmission, is that he does not prevent her: asked about a man married to a Christian woman, may he prevent her wine? He said: let him counsel her; if she does not accept from him, may he prevent her? He said: no. The apparent sense is that he gives him no right over her; if she drinks, he may compel her to rinse her mouth, wine being impure and making kissing and enjoyment difficult. If asked about the Muslim wife who wishes to drink disputed nabidh without becoming intoxicated: yes, he may prevent her, the school bearing no other, for Ahmad applies the legal punishment over it: how then approve her drinking? Disapproval by punishment is the strongest of disapprovals. Al-Qadi: if both are Hanbalis or Shafi'is, they may prevent her, holding it unlawful; if Hanafis, it does not prevent enjoyment but its perfection: judged by the two narrations, the first being the sound view. May he prevent her garlic, onion and leek? By the two narrations; likewise soiled garments ("Ahkam ahl adh-dhimma" 2/821).
The Malikis of the madhhab: the husband cannot prevent her wine or pork. "al-Mudawwana al-Kubra" cites Malik: a man cannot prevent his Christian wife from eating pork, drinking wine or going to her church (4/307). Al-Maziri: the disagreement concerns preventing the Christian wife from wine, pork and church; some: he cannot prevent her the rulings of her religion, for he married her on that condition; others: he may prevent her, the church excepted for an obligatory duty and a rare command ("Sharh at-talqin" 2/98, "Hashiyat al-Adawi" 2/79). Ibn Rushd: in "al-Mudawwana," he cannot prevent her; in the book of Ibn al-Mawwaz, he may prevent her, pork and wine not belonging to her religion, and the church except an obligation ("al-Bayan wa-t-tahsil" 2/349, "Mawahib al-Jalil" 3/333). The Hanafis: Ibn Nujaym cites "al-Khaniyya," in the chapter of the jizyah: a Muslim with a dhimmi wife cannot prevent her drinking wine, lawful in her eyes, but may prevent her keeping it in the house. This is problematic: though lawful in her eyes, its odor harms the husband, who may prevent her as one prevents the Muslim wife garlic and onion; hence al-Karkhi writes in "al-Fayd," before the chapter of tayammum: a Muslim may prevent his dhimmi wife from drinking wine, as one prevents a Muslim wife garlic and onion disliked by her husband. And this is the sound view ("al-Bahr ar-Ra'iq" 3/111, "an-Nahr al-fa'iq" 2/195, "al-Muhit al-Burhani" 5/220).
The majority of the scholars state that each spouse must treat the other with kindness: fair companionship, restraint from all harm, not deferring the other's right while able, not making oneself disliked in fulfilling the other's right, but rendering it with an open, cheerful face, without insults or reminders of favor; this is the commanded kindness:
"And live with them in kindness."
Surah An-Nisa, 4:19
"And they have rights similar to their obligations, in kindness."
Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228
Abu Zayd said: fear Allah concerning them as they must fear Allah concerning you. Ibn Abbas said: "I love to adorn myself for my wife as I love that she adorn herself for me," by virtue of verse 2:228. The husband's right over her is greater than hers over him: "and they have a degree over them" (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228); the Prophet said: "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would command the women to prostrate to their husbands, in view of the right Allah has given them"; and: "When a wife spends the night fleeing her husband's bed, the angels curse her until morning" (al-Bukhari and Muslim). It is recommended for each of them to beautify his character toward the other, to be gentle and to bear the other's harm: "and the neighbor who is kin" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:36), understood of each of the two spouses.
Treat women well: the woman was created from a rib; the most crooked part of the rib is its upper part; if you insist on straightening it you break it; if you leave it, it remains crooked; so treat women well.Narrated by al-Bukhari (3153, 4890) and Muslim (1468)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) thus urged gentleness toward women, kindness to them, patience with the crookedness of their character, support for the weakness of their reason, and refraining from divorce without cause, without expecting perfect constancy from them.
Fear Allah concerning women: you have taken them as a trust from Allah and made lawful their private parts by the word of Allah. It is your due upon them that they admit no one onto your beds whom you disapprove; if they do so, discipline them with a discipline not severe; and it is their due upon you to provide their food and clothing with kindness.Narrated by Muslim (1218)
Ash-Shafi'i comments verse 2:228: conjugal kindness consists in withholding what is displeasing and sparing the holder of the right the burden of claiming it, without showing reluctance in fulfilling it; whoever delays what is due while able commits injustice: "the delay of the wealthy is injustice." Al-Mawardi: Allah imposed the wife's right upon the husband, forbidding him rebellion against her, as He imposed his right upon her: "We know what We prescribed for them concerning their wives" (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:50), alluding to clothing, maintenance and division; "live with them in kindness" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19): fulfilling her right and fairness in her division; "You will never be able to do perfect justice between your wives, however much you desire it; so do not incline entirely to one, leaving the other suspended" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:129); by "they have rights similar to their obligations," Allah made clear that she has a right and owes a right, meaning not the identity of the two rights but their obligatory character; among her rights over him: dwelling, maintenance and clothing. The kindness explained by ash-Shafi'i is sound: fulfilling a right with disgust, a sullen face and harsh words is not kindness; and "the delay of the wealthy is injustice" is established from the Prophet.
The Sunnah confirms it: Musa ibn Uqbah, from Sadaqah ibn Yasar, from Ibn Umar: "O people, the women are with you as captives: you have taken them as a trust from Allah and made lawful their private parts by the word of Allah; you have a right over them and they have a right over you; among your rights over them is that they admit no one onto your beds whom you disapprove and do not disobey you in good; if they do so, they have their food and clothing in kindness": the division of nights is thus part of the kindness due to wives. The Prophet also warned: "He who has two wives and inclines toward one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body listing"; "Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for his flock: the man is the shepherd of the people of his house and is responsible for them"; and he divided among his wives saying: "O Allah, this is my division in what I possess; do not take me to task for what I do not possess," meaning his heart ("al-Hawi al-Kabir" 9/568-569, "Sharh Sahih Muslim" 10/57, "al-Mughni" 7/223).
Ibn al-Jawzi: one must treat one's wife with gentleness so that aversion does not set in, while keeping one's authority so that one's standing does not fall in her eyes; he should not disclose to her the extent of his wealth nor confide a secret whose disclosure he fears, for she might reveal it; he should not multiply gifts, for she could no longer bear being deprived of them; he should be jealous without excess, lest she become the target of harm because of him; and he should keep her despite distaste: "It may be that you dislike a thing and Allah places in it abundant good" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19); Ibn Abbas said: perhaps a child will be born of her, in whom Allah places abundant good ("al-Mughni" 7/223, "Sharh az-Zarkashi" 2/444, "Kashshaf al-Qina" 208-209, "Matalib Uli an-Nuha" 5/254-255).
A man married to more than one wife must be equitable among them in three matters: the nights, intercourse and love, and maintenance. First: fairness in the nights. Muslim jurists agree on the obligation of equality in division, whether the wives are virgins or previously married, older or newer, by virtue of "live with them in kindness" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19), injustice ruining kind companionship; inclining toward one at the expense of another is not kindness.
He who has two wives and inclines toward one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides fallen; in another version: with a side listing.Narrated by Abu Dawud (2133), Ibn Majah (1969), Ahmad (8549, 10092) and Ibn Hibban (4207), a sahih hadith
This report establishes the obligation of a fair division; if he is not equitable, separation is preferable: "retention in kindness or release in grace" (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:229), the division being one of the rights of marriage, without difference between the wives in this regard ("al-Hidaya" 1/222, "al-Kafi" 3/127). Ibn al-Mundhir: all whose views are reported agree that the division is the same between a Muslim wife and a dhimmi wife; so said Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan al-Basri, an-Nakha'i, ash-Sha'bi, az-Zuhri, al-Hakam, Hammad, Malik, ath-Thawri, al-Awza'i, ash-Shafi'i, Abu Thawr and the people of opinion; we say the same, for they are all free women, with no difference in the rules of marriage ("al-Ishraf" 5/150, "al-Ijma" 387).
Ibn al-Qattan al-Fasi: it is established that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "If a man has two wives and inclines toward one, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body listing, if he is not equitable in what he possesses." The scholars agree that the division is the same between a Muslim wife and a dhimmi wife, that fairness in division is obligatory, and that they differ over its manner, while agreeing on the equality of nights among free Muslim, non-rebellious wives, except for a recently married wife. A man may not prefer the beautiful to the plain in the division.