Spouses' reciprocal rights

The wife's rights

• the mahr, maintenance, clothing and housing under the rules detailed on the mahr and nafqa pages;
• conjugal intimacy: the wife may claim her rights; the Hanafis oblige the husband to answer her request once, the rest belonging to conjugal kindness; the Malikis set one night out of four upon a complaint of neglect; he cannot be held when an impediment exists (menses, lochia, pilgrimage);
• the protection of her motherhood: withdrawal (azl) is lawful for the four schools, but not without the free wife's consent: "the Prophet forbade withdrawal with a free woman without her consent", a report graded weak by the specialists (Ibn Majah 1928), yet retained by Malik, ash-Shafi'i and the majority of scholars;
• daily kindness: fair speech, no harm, no neglecting her rights while able.

The husband's rights

• obedience in everything lawful: the jurists agree that the wife must obey her husband in what is not disobedience to Allah, and that she does not leave the house without his permission; Ibn Taymiyya adds that the married woman owes her obedience first to her husband, more than to her parents;
• answering his call to bed: "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the One in the heaven is angry with her, and the angels curse her until morning" (Abu Dawud 2141); the scholars except whatever prevents her: voluntary fasting without permission, illness, menses;
• guarding the home and his property in his absence: "The best wealth is the virtuous woman: who pleases you if you look at her, obeys you if you order her, guards your property and herself when you are away";
• household service: the Hanafis make it a recommended charge not claimable in court; Ibn Taymiyya and some Malikis obligate it according to family custom and the husband's means.

Shared duties

The majority of scholars impose on both good companionship and the end of harm: "Live with them in kindness" (an-Nisa 19), "They have rights similar to their duties, in kindness" (al-Baqara 228). Ibn Abbas said: "I love to adorn myself for my wife as I love her to adorn herself for me". Each forgives, bears patiently, never recalls his favors. The verse gives the man a degree of responsibility: the household's burden rests on him.

Practical note

Rights and duties balance: she receives maintenance and protection, he receives obedience and fidelity, and both owe each other daily kindness. In tension, these marks from the four schools serve as a compass, before consulting a scholar.